Thursday, October 30, 2008
CRASH!
Here is just an add on to what I said last time... Today was kind of a hard day, I had my first Lincoln Douglas debate in front of my class, me and another student were the only ones who went... and I got myself handed to me on a silver platter. I guess there are a ton of flaws in her speech so I am going to play that to my strength... She is a great debater, we in class have another name for that of course, but its not really relavant for a weekly entry. Also things collided with eachother today. I had an orthodontist appointment, fliming during class, our school board visitation, and FBLA, along with my sister's dance at her school, so I had to babysit... I felt like I was pulled in 5 differnet directions at once... Also I have a huge project due in my World History class that I am REALLY wanting an A on, because I have A's in all of my classes, except for math in which I have a low grade because I failed a test. We have to present our grades to our parents so I will probably get torn a new one" Now that I am thinking about it, I am going to do a post on those... See!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Busy, Busy, Busy
I just realized that I am almost pathetically busy. I seem to manange everything just fine. I supose my focus right now isn't on anything but what colleges, school administrators and everyone look at. I actually just got back from filming a debate between Terry Bergeson, and Randy Dorn running for Washington State Super Intendant of Public Instruction. Constantly I have to be reminded of my age... not because I dont know, but because I simply 'forget' in a sense. I am working on a web buisness on building websites, I am on the Debate team, Future buisness leaders of america, I am going to produce along with Ms. Hunt and the rest of the debate team, me as more of a technical backbone per say, to send this video to get sponsorships so we have enough money to pay for competetions. I also could take a computer completly apart and reassemble it. I know extensive computer vocabulary, I simply do not see my self as a teenager, I dont really keep in mind how old I am when I do these things but thats not really the point.
The thing I am trying to figure out is... this thing called motivation, and what exactly mine is. In my recent posts I have refered to the fact that I am into psychology. Well I am going to do a little bit of reflection on what exactly motivates me... there are many things that motivate me to get up and goto school, and get good grades and all of that. I would like to say my first one is to do it because it makes me happy, pleases me... but most mornings I would die just to be able to sleep in a couple more minutes (do not take me literally on that!). The most dominant motivation is to please everyone else, not let anyone down. Mostly my parents, and teachers. I hate hearing the words "I am disapointed in you", honestly those words put me into shock. I haven't heard them in a long time, I don' believe. However me being the philisophical nerd I am, have gotten to think about alot of stuff... one being education. Now alot of people say "I am going to be an actor! I don't need to know this stuff" which is probably true... because after your career goes down the hole and your flipping burgers you don't need much education, however I go to school for reasons other than just getting a job. I go to school to learn. “All men by nature desire knowledge.”
-Aristotle
I am in complete favor of this. I hate learning things in science like these subatomcic particles and all that not because its boring, or I dont like it... I dont like learning about it because I dont learn everything about it... We only focus on that one part... Its almost like imaging science as a wall... No lights except two spot lights, on one end it shows what we are currently learning, and the other is what we need to know to be sucessful such as diseases, and other things. I can't tie in knowing things about atoms because mostly scientists use them. So when I learn something I want to be able to turn on all of the lights or at least be able to make everything mildly visible.
Now I have always classified myself as middle to low class. I don't nessacarily think I have low self esteem, but I definatly don't consider myself a top class student. Well this past year being a fresmen in high school, I am AT&T raising the bar. One thing I have come to value most being a student is trust. I have always been trustworthy, I wasn't looking forward to this year because I was afraid of how long it would be for me to prove my self to some teachers and I think I am off to a good start. I really value when a teacher says "I am trusting you to do this..." or even implys that they trust me. I still am not going to call myself a "top class student" because I know I'm not. I do have good grades, I am trusted by my teachers, no issues with any athourities or anything... but I simply won't call myself a good student because that seems to classify me above otherpeople, be it one or 2,000,000 students. I don't belive in someone being better than someone else because it is too vauge. I strongly believe that everyone is created equal, however they aren't treated equal. I still strive to be the best student I can be, I just simply won't say I am better than someone else, based just on that.
One of the other things I am really motivated by is other people being impressed, or proud of me. Which is obviously a no brainer. There are somethings that I do just so my parents can tell their friends or family members... That motivation is very subdued because I don't get that kind of attention because in my family I am held up to those expectaitions, which is fine beacuse that reward is conflicting with my "I am not better than you" philosophy. My mom talks with other PTSA moms, and I only hear it when I am around... duh, I am not a super hero... (or am I, you will never know). When she lists off all of the things I am involved in the other moms look at my like I am insane... which I do want to become some day, I think that would be fun. Then they have this look on their face like "How in the h*ll do you manage that?!" and I simply have no social life, which is fine with me. I am weird like that, at a party I would rather be working behind the scenes than out hanging out with people... I have yet to deduce [bigalo] why that is. I think it makes me feel more productive.
The thing I am trying to figure out is... this thing called motivation, and what exactly mine is. In my recent posts I have refered to the fact that I am into psychology. Well I am going to do a little bit of reflection on what exactly motivates me... there are many things that motivate me to get up and goto school, and get good grades and all of that. I would like to say my first one is to do it because it makes me happy, pleases me... but most mornings I would die just to be able to sleep in a couple more minutes (do not take me literally on that!). The most dominant motivation is to please everyone else, not let anyone down. Mostly my parents, and teachers. I hate hearing the words "I am disapointed in you", honestly those words put me into shock. I haven't heard them in a long time, I don' believe. However me being the philisophical nerd I am, have gotten to think about alot of stuff... one being education. Now alot of people say "I am going to be an actor! I don't need to know this stuff" which is probably true... because after your career goes down the hole and your flipping burgers you don't need much education, however I go to school for reasons other than just getting a job. I go to school to learn. “All men by nature desire knowledge.”
-Aristotle
I am in complete favor of this. I hate learning things in science like these subatomcic particles and all that not because its boring, or I dont like it... I dont like learning about it because I dont learn everything about it... We only focus on that one part... Its almost like imaging science as a wall... No lights except two spot lights, on one end it shows what we are currently learning, and the other is what we need to know to be sucessful such as diseases, and other things. I can't tie in knowing things about atoms because mostly scientists use them. So when I learn something I want to be able to turn on all of the lights or at least be able to make everything mildly visible.
Now I have always classified myself as middle to low class. I don't nessacarily think I have low self esteem, but I definatly don't consider myself a top class student. Well this past year being a fresmen in high school, I am AT&T raising the bar. One thing I have come to value most being a student is trust. I have always been trustworthy, I wasn't looking forward to this year because I was afraid of how long it would be for me to prove my self to some teachers and I think I am off to a good start. I really value when a teacher says "I am trusting you to do this..." or even implys that they trust me. I still am not going to call myself a "top class student" because I know I'm not. I do have good grades, I am trusted by my teachers, no issues with any athourities or anything... but I simply won't call myself a good student because that seems to classify me above otherpeople, be it one or 2,000,000 students. I don't belive in someone being better than someone else because it is too vauge. I strongly believe that everyone is created equal, however they aren't treated equal. I still strive to be the best student I can be, I just simply won't say I am better than someone else, based just on that.
One of the other things I am really motivated by is other people being impressed, or proud of me. Which is obviously a no brainer. There are somethings that I do just so my parents can tell their friends or family members... That motivation is very subdued because I don't get that kind of attention because in my family I am held up to those expectaitions, which is fine beacuse that reward is conflicting with my "I am not better than you" philosophy. My mom talks with other PTSA moms, and I only hear it when I am around... duh, I am not a super hero... (or am I, you will never know). When she lists off all of the things I am involved in the other moms look at my like I am insane... which I do want to become some day, I think that would be fun. Then they have this look on their face like "How in the h*ll do you manage that?!" and I simply have no social life, which is fine with me. I am weird like that, at a party I would rather be working behind the scenes than out hanging out with people... I have yet to deduce [bigalo] why that is. I think it makes me feel more productive.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Web Based Buisness
So I am pretty excited about this new thing I have going on. I am going to start two online businesses. One is going to be called Komodo Web Development or KomodoWD for short. The other is something I am working on with someone at school. We talked alot about it during the summer, and a little this year in school, but now its time to put some plans in action, just because our idea is so great I am going to unveil it when the site launches. It will take alot of support from friends and everyone else. However I think it will be a success.
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